Cut Copy Pitch: Sylar Killed People

 
 

Yep, we’re diving back in just as soon as we got out. That’s right, I’m reading advertising copy, and sharing anecdotes of brand deals falling through. So join me this week for Austin Powers having one joke, nodding big when people mention cinematography, and questioning why my Instagram only shows pictures of feet. And remember, don’t idolise Sylar. He killed people.

Relationship Advice: We Knolled

 
 

I’ve learnt more talking to myself than ever listening to others, and it’s about time I put that wisdom to good use through some relationship advice. Join me this week for standing on the second napkin to clean a spill, self-reflecting instead of going into the government facility, and there being trouble in pear cider on ice. Preach!

Elevator Pitches: To Dine For

 
 

There’s no earthly way of knowing which direction we are going! That’s right, I have a golden ticket on to Wonka’s magical glass elevator, and what better use for such a feat of engineering than to pitch to fast food elevator commuters. Join me this week for going full M. Night’s Devil, getting in someone’s face for better reception, and putting on a play. This one’s for the fast food freaks!

The Anniversary Reprise

 
 

What a year! I can’t believe it’s been a full 365 since we last premiered. And what more a tidy 52. So let’s look back and relive all of the moments through a big glorious reprisal. Join me this week for the side-car data backup, the boy who cried Punk’d, and clearing earwax to listen to your siren vent about work stuff. Thanks for the year of cool fun fresh fun, and check out my new show ‘One Last Late-Night Talk Show’ on the Big Tall Boys website every Monday!

The Pre-Anniversary Tax Write-Off Special

 
 

There’s 52 episodes in a calendar year, and gosh dang it, I thought there was 51. So it looks like you’ll have to listen as I complete some necessary paperwork. Join me this week for Google Docs always making me the skunk, not negotiating with the sensors, and ordering a glass half full for my guests, because I’m an optimist.

Area 51: We have a Screecher

 
 

They’re out there, and we’re listening to em! That’s right, this week I’m listening to clips of aliens and giving them a authenticity rating from 0 to 5 roses. So join me for journaling shame, dreaming of hey batter batter, and reconciling with being a Goober. Will the episode fulfill the premise or be derailed through convoluted introspection? Listen to find out, but also yes.

Cut Copy Pitch: False Godzilla Equivalencies

 
 

We’re fifty episodes into this show and it’s about time we start reusing premises more often. That’s right, I’m reading advertising copy, and sharing anecdotes of brand deals falling through. It’s a rock solid premise. Join me this week for blowing out your Wallace and gromet, misusing your dad’s Macintosh, and being on the receiving end of a trolley problem. Oh no, someone else is about to listen to this, you better hit play and beat them to the punch!

Special Thanks: We are all Tim Allen

 
 

For he’s a jolly good fellow! That’s right, this episode come out reasonably close to my birthday, and what a perfect time to listen to some close celebrity friends talking about me at various functions and events. Join me this week for Big Sicken with Donald Glover, nodding big with Leonardo DiCaprio, and the great big purpose of Tim Allen. And before I forget, happy birthday.

Merch Madness: SPF Adjacent Sunscreen

 
 

It aint March, it’s merch, and it aint exactly madness. This week we’re doing a structured bracket to help us come up with the perfect item for the Big Tall Boys store. Sixteen ideas. One bracket. You don’t want to miss this one. Join me this week for innocuous kangaroos, SPF adjacent sunscreen and wet and ready clay models. Helpful tip: if you hit play the episode will start.

The New 52: Underwear Grease Tray

 
 

Let’s start getting reorganised! That’s right, we’re nearing the anniversary of this podcast so why not make fifty two changes to the show? Join me this week for a good laugh, a large amount of Nintendo references, and the Kelvin Klein underwear grease tray. That’s it! That’s the whole description! I’m not messing around anymore. Straight to the point with this from now on. Read this, and then click that play button, or the share button. Actually, yeah, just press the share button, you can skip this sode.

TikTok Condenser: The Perfect Stitch Impression

 
 

Ka-Ching! That’s right, we’re selling out! How you ask? Well, I answer then continue, we’re going to condense down chunks of this episode into TikTokable portions that will attract a wider audience. So join me as we condense discussions on my perfect Stitch impression, Jim Davis’s will, and the best day to confront your partner on whether you’re being Punk’d.

Scripted: Taking a Semaphore

 
 

A completely scripted sode? Yeah, YEAH. It’s exciting and equally neat. But what more it’s impressive. Intimidatingly so. How can I live up to this in future episodes? Who knows. Let’s not think about that. Instead just listen to scripted discussions on Tril-by dates, taking a quick semaphore, and tongue twisters about Corey committing cremation. I wrote 8000 words for this one, so you better listen to at least 1000 of them [threat].

A Sit-Down Chat with Alexander Krause

 
 

Am I hearing double? Yes, yes you are! It’s Alex on Alex in the most Alex way possible: contrived podcast premises. Because this week I am being interviewed by an alternate version of myself. Will this lead us both to form a deeper understanding of ourselves? Or will we simply discuss pointing at balloons on our father’s shoulders, jumping into Hurley from Lost’s photo like Mario 64, and our shared financial domination fetish? I think you know the answer.

Election Night in the Multiverse of Madness

 
 

My beauty aint rich nor rare, as it turns out I am everywhere! That’s right, it’s election night in the multiverse of madness as we jump forward a week to see the futures that could be. Winning? Losing? Hot? Not? Well you’ll have to listen to find out. So join me for Beautiful Mind’s disease, unconfident soundboard buttons, and describing yourself in one word or curd if you are a custard. Don’t vote for me!

Campaign Trail: Perth. Home of Danger Five

 
 

I’m hitting golden soil and girting that sea! That’s right, it’s an election trail! Every state a new speech filled with campaign promises and a vague understanding of what you’re all about. Perth? Danger Five. NSW? Robot maids. Queensland? Royal Commission. Join me this week for misplacing the twelve apostles, Tom Cruising around, and reminding you all to please drape your sex dolls. Vote for me!

Election Ads: Nodding at Ents

 
 

Keep rejoicing, for these ads are young and free! What’s a political campaign without an aggressive media push? And what’s an episode of this show without a silly premise? That’s right, I’m continuing my Prime Minister election campaign the only way I know how: advertising. Join me this week for monthly chats, attack ads on voters, and nodding at ents. Vote for me!

Campaign Policies: Seven Minutes in Heaven Regardless of Smells

 
 

Australia all let us rejoice in my election campaign! That’s right, I’m running for Prime Minister of a little country down under. But why should you vote for me? Well, let me explain through a series of campaign policies that you will keep me accountable for. So, I suppose if I fail to fulfill these promises then that’s kind of on you. Huh, interesting. Join me this week for nuclear submarines fighting sirens, rules for seven minutes in heaven, and pleading insanity by praising James Cameron’s Avatar. Vote for me!

Easter Scavenger Hunt

 
 

Tee hee hee! That’s right, it’s the big Easter Scavenger Hunt, and I am the Riddler. Each riddle shall lead you to a new clue, and with each new clue you shall receive a religious parable. So do not fret, for I will uphold the sanctity of this occasion and praise the defeat of death. Join me for bags of sand, Rob Huebel, and the Bible cinematic universe. Tee hee hee!